May 4
A lot’s changed in these past few months.. I feel like my life is on display at the current moment. Everyone seems interested in graduation and my future plans; really, it doesn’t mean a thing to them. I can see how it would mean more to me than others.. but really all they’re intersted in is being up on the talk of who’s going where. Next year, they’ll pass off the same “caring” smile to the next person walking their way, who just so happens to be a senior. Other than that, life has been okay to me. She and I are over.. which brings me to the fact that I regret the way in which the whole thing went down, but I honestly don’t regret it happening. Someone who points out your flaws publicly, such as across twitter, shortly after seperating obviously doesn’t love you like they say they did. I did meet him, and am very happy with him. I feel as if people look at us though, and wonder how in the hell on earth does a girl like me get as lucky to end up with a guy like him. It honestly bugs me.. not the fact that they wonder, that I completely understand… What really bugs me, is the fact that I care so much. Who gives a shit what they think? I wish I could read his mind though. And really explor the possibilities of his thoughts. I wonder if he ignores their inquiries completely, if he doesn’t care, or if he acknowleges them as true, and can see past them. Now that he’s not here, I feel more alone than ever.
